What feels sick / a fibromyalgia and how to help?

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Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS for short) and fibromyalgia (FMS for short) are debilitating and poorly understood chronic illness that can strike people of both sexes and all ages. Couples, friends and relatives of people with CFS or FMS may feel confused and helpless, not knowing what to say or how to offer help.

It is very difficult to observe impassive pain and limitations that these diseases cause, this added to the mood swings, sleeplessness, irritability triggers chronic pain and lack of healthy sleep, turn the daily lives of sick and family in a constant struggle to maintain balance and keep the family unit.

Not everyone is able to address this situation and to reach acceptance is a long way where psychological support is necessary and consider this set of keys that are very important:

Put yourself in your family and try to understand

Most people know very little, if they know something about CFS and FMS. Both diseases involve much more than just “a little fatigue” or “a few aches or pains.” If you have a friend or loved one with CFS or FMS, you should learn as much as you can about these diseases. The more you know about the illness of your loved one else will be able to support it.


Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is a chronic and debilitating disorder that affects the brain and multiple body parts. This causes extreme fatigue that does not diminish resting in bed and often worsens with physical or mental activity. Symptoms last at least six months and are severe enough to damage or interfere with daily activities. Symptoms vary from person to person and may include:

· Chronic fatigue that does not diminish resting in bed and often worsens with physical or mental activity

Weakness in general

· Muscle pains

· Joint pain without swelling or redness

· Headaches

· Problems with short-term memory or concentration

· Forgetfulness or confusion

Irritability, anxiety, mood swings or depression

· Low fever, hot flushes or night sweats

· Sore throat

· Tender lymph nodes

· Trouble sleeping or not feeling rested after sleep

· Prolonged fatigue lasting 24 hours or more after exercise

· Sensitivity eyes to light

· Allergies

· Dizziness

· Chest pain or shortness of breath

· Nausea

Fibromyalgia (FMS)

Fibromyalgia is a chronic disorder that causes widespread pain and stiffness in muscles, tendons and ligaments, along with no comforting sleep and fatigue. Symptoms vary from person to person and may include:

Tiredness or generalized fatigue

· Reduced physical endurance

· Generalized aches and pains of muscles, tendons and ligaments

· Muscle stiffness or spasm

· Pain in specific areas of the body, especially:

or neck

or shoulders

or chest

or Back (upper and lower)

or Hips and thighs

· Insomnia or lack of sleep

· Numbness or swelling (although swelling is not actually present)

· Chronic headaches, including migraines

· Morning stiffness is worse when it arises for the first time

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No invalidates not make them feel worse

Some people think that individuals with CFS or FMS are lazy, exaggerating their symptoms or suffer a psychiatric illness. These people may mistakenly believe that their loved one just needs to be pushed a little harder. People with CFS or FMS often feel invalidated when they hear:

– “I see you well” (invalidating underlying message: “You do not look sick, so you must be exaggerating or faking”)

– “Oh, I’ve had symptoms like that.” “I get tired just as well” (invalidating underlying message: “. So what’s the problem ?. Everyone gets tired Get some rest”)

– “Have you tried … (suggested treatment)?” (Invalidating underlying message: “If you do not take this remedy or do something to help yourself is your fault that you keep sick”)

– “Are you still sick (invalidating underlying message:” What about you ?. It’s your fault that you keep still sick “).

Acknowledge the pain of your relative or friend

It denies the fact that the disease does not disappear even less.

People with CFS or FMS often face many challenges, including:

· Do not be taken seriously by their families, friends, employers and even their physicians and other health professionals

· The uncertainty of their disease

· Decreased ability to participate in previous levels of professional, social, educational activities and personal

· Unit and sense of isolation

Many people use denial to deal with a chronic illness of a loved one. Instead of listening, believing, and showing compassion for what the person is going through, they discuss the facts and minimize the severity of the situation.

When you recognize fully the status of your loved one are you letting you know that you really worry, love and helping. The following tips can help:

To recognize the difficulty: “I can not imagine how difficult all these changes must be for you”

To recognize losses, sadness and anger: “I’m sorry you had to quit your job.” “It must be horrible to not have strength to continue your education”

-Ask And listen with compassion: When you ask your loved one how you feel, may be feeling sick, tired, in pain or depressed. If you just want to hear your loved one feel good, stop asking how you feel. Otherwise they can feel your expectation, disappointment, disinterest or inability to understand. Instead you could ask: “How are you taking him today?” or “How’s it going?”

Is understanding and compassionate

Chronic diseases present many challenges in relationships at a time when comfort and social support are of utmost importance. Here are some ways you can help:

· Be patient. Remember that your loved one has had to make many adjustments and is doing the best it can.

· Provide frequent consolation of love and support.

· Offer practical help as running errands, help with household chores and shopping.

· Take your loved one to medical appointments be. Show interest in your care and provide emotional support.

· Find ways to spend time together doing low intensity activities like watching a movie or a video, eat something, go to the field, play a game, sit in the park or give a massage.

· Do not feel that you have to “fix” problems or give recommendations. Often the mere fact of being there and showing compassion is enough.

· Express gratitude for whatever your loved one can give, despite its limits.

· Ask how you can help your loved one.

· Express admiration for the strength and courage you see in your loved one as it goes ahead with the challenges of the disease.

· Your loved one may have changes in your mood due to stress and challenges of having a chronic illness. Do not take emotional reactions and personal.

· Try to be sensitive to the feelings of your loved one. Listen and learn to be perceptive.

· Stay in touch with your loved one. Even if he is not as active and involved in mutual interests or gatherings as it once was, sure to invite him anyway.

Accept and cope with change

The CFS in particular, is a very unpredictable disease. Symptoms can vary, so your loved one may not be able to predict how hours or even minutes will feel after an event. Try to be sympathetic to this and expect the following situations:

· Sometimes it may take longer than usual to do certain things.

· It will be difficult for him to make definite plans.

· It may not have the energy to spend time with you on certain occasions.

· It could not remember certain things (CFS can cause cognitive problems and “brain fog.”)

· It may have unpredictable emotional ups and downs.

Take care of yourself / a to provide care and support

CFS and FMS are difficult illnesses not only for the sufferer but for those who care. It is normal to feel disappointed, impatient, guilty, frustrated, helpless and cheated. It is important to have proper care of you so you can provide support. This means eating properly, exercising regularly, controlling your stress level and talk openly about their feelings with a family member, a friend or a professional counselor. Talk with your loved one about how the disease is affecting their relationship. Ask how you can help each other. Keep in mind that support from family and friends is essential to the welfare of people with CFS and FMS.

You know your loved ones, you know how they are, what workers and assets that have been, do not let an illness treat them as lazy, you know them better than anyone, let no health makes them feel worse than and they feel.

In ignorance / ZERO TOLERANCE You are not alone / a!

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